


Under My Skin

by MrsProngs (Doctor_Mayfair)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Bodyswap, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Redemption, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-20 23:58:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16148282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctor_Mayfair/pseuds/MrsProngs
Summary: [Post-TLJ]One month after the happenings on Crait, the Resistance keeps on expanding.While that, Rey keeps having these headaches and muscle soreness. She buries herself in repairing anything and every night she meditates trying to expel him from her head. She knows he should not be there, but still...Kylo feels lonelier than ever. He buries himself in his work as supreme leader but his thoughts seem to flee to the mechanics of the Millenium Falcon. Every night he trains hard until he can no longer stand up. He tries to forget about a girl but still...So one day they get into a huge fight when the unexpected happens and the Force acts upon them.The bodyswap fic that no one asked for!





	1. Mantra and Meditation

**Author's Note:**

> Hello guys!  
> I finally got a little bit of time to write this. The entire plot has been in my head since TLJ, but it keeps changing and, at least for me, it has been improving. Since english is not my first language, I may struggle in grammar and stuff, so if you could point my mistakes out, I’d appreciate it. Also, let me know what you guys think! I’ve been writing fanfics for quite some time but this is the second one I’m letting out in the open.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Rey was up before the alarm sounded. Again. She keeps repeating her routine in her head, almost as a mantra.

 _Eat, practice, fix, meeting, fix, eat, meditation, sleep_.

She tells herself it will keep her mind inside her own head.

Sometimes she works on a ship, sometimes the air conditioning system of their new falling to pieces’ base. She’s at the Resistance’s disposal.

She reunites with Finn and Rose for lunch, most of the times just pretending to listen, and sometimes Poe joins them, being very friendly towards her.

Leia and Poe meet with her almost everyday. They want ‘the last Jedi’ to be a part of the developments. She fixes something else then brings Chewie supper and makes him company in the Falcon, where they sleep.

The old Jedi texts are complicated and she can’t understand them properly, but she meditates every single night, desperate to silence their connection.

By the end of the day she’s absolutely exhausted, every single muscle of her body aches and manages to sleep easily, but the nights betray her. Many times she wakes up in the middle of the night to a dream that was not her own. She meditates and tries to expell the presence expanding from the corner of her mind.

She repeats things in her head.

_It’s not real, Rey._

_The force bond does not exist._

_That was just one of Snoke’s tricks._

_That’s just your imagination._

Her heart race increases in response to the lies, but she insists until it sounds truthful, calming herself.

She knows the truth. There is no running from the voice inside her head. From the memories of a lost childhood in Chandrila. From golden dice she felt really content to be playing with. From Leia on her tiptoes kissing her forhead goodbye. Han hugging her. But these are not her memories. Nor are the nightmares of Snoke’s punishments. Of green light sabers flashing in her face and the feeling of iminent death. Of killing children. Of destroying a temple. She wakes up, drenched in sweat, feeling his presence while tears run down her face. A lump on her throat persists, product of the lie she tells herself everyday. Last time she saw him was on Crait, when she closed the Millenium Falcon’s door at his face.

 _Eat, practice, fix, meeting, fix, eat, meditation, sleep_.

_No more second chances._

_He’s got to follow his way..._

_And you shall follow yours._

_But... Which way?_

Since they’ve scaped the First Order and their raging Supreme Leader, she keeps herself busy. He hasn’t dared to disturb her... At least not consciously. She needs to focus on her survival... On the Resistance’s survival.

 _Eat, practice, fix, meeting, fix, eat, meditation, sleep_.

She tries to keep everything in that order, but somedays – such as this day - her sleep flees and she just gets up and grabs her staff, running to the woods so she can practice. Before she leaves the ship, she drops by the kitchen to grab a piece of something and meets Chewie with a cup of caf, complaining about a something in the ship that still wasn’t working.

“I’ll take a look at it later, it must be something Unkar Plutt installed and we did not notice” She said, grabing an apple, in such a hurry to leave.

Chewie growled that they’ve already cleaned everything up.

“Okay, fine, I’ll look in the plans. Don’t worry. Catch up later, Chewie” And runned towards the woods.

It’s very different than from Jakku. The moist, the rain, the animals, all the green. She adores it. Although inside the old base it’s a little suffocating. It was hard for her to adjust... Finn and Rose helped her a lot, even though she’s been quite distracted from their routine. She tells them it’s “Jedi stuff” that keeps dark circles under her eyes and almost no concentration during the small talk. They give her space and she isolates inside her own mantra.

In her busy schedule, she feels safe. In the woken nights, she feels lonely. So she meditates.

And she meditates more.

And she meditates _a lot_.

When she found her favorite training spot, a maple glade, she suddenly felt a disturbance on the Force.

Rey almost trips and tries to calm her feelings. She feels lifes fading. She knows he’s up to something. She closes her eyes and sees corpses. Feels his anger building. And scapes quickly, opening her eyes with a cry that barely echoes through the trees.

 

 

 

Through the rest of the day, she was immerse in the vision, barely touching her food, Finn knowing this is not Rey-like tried to distract her. She remained impassible.

Whose bodies were they? Who dared to vex the mighty Supreme Leader and paid with their lifes? Then a more disturbing thought popped up. She stood up in the middle of the cafeteria and left, looking for the one person she could talk to.

She barely touched the chamber’s door when Leia opened it up.

“Rey...” And when the old woman saw the disturbing look on the girl’s face, she just opened up the door and gesticulated “Please come in”.

Rey stormed in, pacing back and forth.

“I’m so sorry to come to you in this state but I don’t know what to do anymore...”

Leia closed the door and looked at her.

“My dear girl, please tell me what’s bothering you. Have a seat.” She pointed out a chair.

Rey immediately sat but felt unquiet and stood up. Leia took a seat in a comfortable chair besides hers.

“Pardon this old lady’s weakness. I see you have something very important to tell me so I won’t bother you with amenities”.

Rey opened her mouth and closed it several times, not even knowing where to start. She paced back and forth for a minute, sat again, sighed and started speaking.

“Since..." Her voice broke. She couldn't say his name out loud "Kylo Ren took me to his ship to inquire about BB-8... We have... Some kind of connection. We can... Talk to each other in our own minds. He showed me things and even supported me when I... Had a vision. I went to him in Snoke’s ship and..." Her voice broke again "Then Snoke was dead... I saw his fate. Clear and bright. But he took his master’s place instead and I fled. Since we left Crait I’ve been meditating and closing myself up to avoid him. To avoid letting him see something from the Resistance in my mind, even though we couldn’t see each other’s surroundings... This changed today. I saw him... B... Kylo. Over a lot of dead bodies. Felt his... raging anger.” She took a pause to breathe and looked into Leia’s eyes. The same warm brown in someone else’s eyes.

“I’m afraid I can’t stay here anymore. I don’t want to compromise your plans... Let him find you... Kill everybody I love... I can’t do that. I’m leaving. I’m so sorry...” She stood up but Leia poked her with her walking stick and Rey fell to the chair again.

“My dear Rey. I know you two have a close connection - I’ve been suspecting for quite some time. I appreciate you telling me about that. But we won’t lose you. As a matter of fact, I need you to do something very important for me. A mission. And I doubt my son will recognize our whereabouts if he can peek into your mind. Although I believe he’ll try to find a way, such is his hatred for the Resistance. But we’ve been through so much worse. We’ll figure it out. Afterall, if he can sees your mind, you can see his too. I’d say that’s a great advantage for our side”. The women's eyes sparkled.

Rey stuttered, searching for words, but since she found none. Leia continued.

“So, since this is settled, let me fill you in the details of your mission. And that’s absolutely confidential”.

 

 

 

After a dizzy afternoon with Leia’s plots, Rey returned to the Falcon to openup the ship’s blueprint on the kitchen table, burying her head into mechanics only to fall asleep on top of it.

When she woke up, she was not alone.

“So that’s why every mechanichal detail of this junk keeps popping inside my head” Kylo Ren was casually leaning against the kitchen counter, a disgusted look in his face.

Rey jumped to her foot.

“What in kriff are you doing here? Get out of my head right now!”

His gaze meets her. He’s as annoyed as her.

“I’m not here on my wish. The Force is connecting us again. This time stronger than last time... When you closed the door for me.”

She threw a mug into him but it just passed through him, like he was a ghost, and hit the wall instead, breaking into pieces.

“You disapoint me, Rey. I thought my equal, the last Jedi, would be a little smarter than this” He crossed his arms and looked at her defiantly. She walked near him to clean up the mess she made before Chewie came back and told her off.

“Just stop bothering me and mind your own business. I have nothing to say to you that you don’t know already” When she crouched down to pick a piece, she felt her legs protest and a thought occurred to her “Wait... I’m not sore because of my crazy schedule. It’s your pain I’m feeling... A killer’s pain”.

His face fell into a frown “I thought we had moved from this... You know I’m a monster. Why the tone of surprise?”

She frowned back. Why was she so disapointed again? He was looking down to face her. They were almost as close as they were on the elevator.

“Please spare me from the details next time. I do not wish to be a part of your blood shedding...” She stared into his eyes with hatred.

“The blood shedding or anything else I’m doing is not your business. Stop peeking inside my head. I do not wish to see anything from a scavenger except for her undoing. Leave my monster mind alone if that disturbs your precious Jedi conciousness”  He stared back at her with the same tone of hate.

“You’re so conceived! Why would I even want anything to do with you?? Now JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.” She didn’t realize she was screaming, with her face so close to his until Chewie got in the kitchen at that moment. He growled, confused, thinking she was upset with him.

Rey felt her face redden and ran toward her safe spot in the woods, barely noticing the heavy rain falling. When she reached the maple glade, soaked to the bone and breathing raggedly, she felt his presence still with her.

“I told you to leave me alone” She said between deep breaths. Her body now shivering. His voice was now low and calm, nothing like their recent bickering.

“So we’ve drawn back to Kylo Ren and Scavenger. I thought we had made progress”. He sounded almost... Hurt?

She turned back to stare at him. The anger was gone from his eyes. She saw a glimpse of sadness and hurt.

“We had... Untill you were seduced by power... Once more.”

“And you left me... And took my inheritance” His voice was deep. His eyes never letting hers.

“The kyber crystal is broken. It’s useless.”

“I can fix it. We can fix it Rey. I could teach you...” He took a step closer. 

“We’ve been there before. We’re Always there and back again, Ben. Aren’t you tired? Why can’t we... Actually sort things out?” They were really close now. Drops of water fell from his hair to her face. She raised her hand to meet his hair when a thunder of lightning striked her and everything went dark.

 

 

 

Cold. She felt so cold. Her head hurt a lot and she felt the bed drenched in sweat.

Bed. How did she got to her bed? Why was she feeling so dizzy? She tried to sit on the bed but it was too hard. Her muscles were failing her. She felt so heavy. Finally, her feet touched the floor and she stumbled in the dark to the refresher.

She bumped into the wall a few times until finding the door. She opened up and her eyes closed immediately with the amount of clarity.

She supported herself in the sink and open the faucet, bringing water to her face. Only... She felt a different nose under her fingers.

She opened her eyes again and looked at her hands. Bigger hands. And when she searched for her face in the mirror, she found Ben Solo’s warm brown eyes looking right back at her and the scream that left her lips was from deep male voice.

 


	2. Chapter 2: Phone calls and long showers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...At least until we go back to what we are” He said coldly.
> 
> "And what are we, Ben?" She asked, her heart tight in her chest.
> 
> He looked into her eyes, but then turned his back before answering and disappearing. 
> 
> "Enemies with a shared interest."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeey guys!  
> So here’s an update. I’m sorry this is a short one. I’ll try to update as soon as I can, but work can really get in the way sometimes.  
> Also, I’m thinking about raising the story’s rating, but still, no promises. Just a little too much curiosity this time.  
> Enjoy!

When Rey looked at the mirror, she saw warm brown eyes where her greenish eyes should be. She screamed. She closed her eyes and opened them several times, just to be sure. She punched the wall in frustration. Then she looked at her- no, not her…- himself in the mirror. No. She was still herself. She traced the scar – her doing – with a finger and admired every single feature of his face. He had a nice face, despite all. She even noticed a pair of big ears behind the curtains of dark hair. She ran into the room and found a tall mirror. She admired her new body. Luckily, she was sleeping on pajamas. But underneath it… She would find Kylo Ren’s privacy.

“What the…” His voice said and the hair stood up on the back of her neck. Her hand travel up and down his arms and a memory of his bare chest tingled her curiosity, so she reached for the base of the shirt when his voice sounded behind her.

“Having fun yet?” The real Kylo Ren was standing behind her, in her usual grey tunic and straps around her arms, but covered in mud. Her face heated and become very red instantly.

“Kriff... What’s happening? Why do I see you in… My clothing… But I look like you?!”

He did not look pleased.

“I look in the mirror and see your face. What did you do?” He fidgeted with the straps around his arm, looking uncomfortable.

“Why did ‘ _I_ ’ do?? I only remember you were soaking wet" So she was drenched in tropical rain and not sweat "And when I threw my mug, it didn’t hit you. Then I guess we were struck by lightning… And I woke up like this. I’m you! We need to undo it. Now” She paced around the room, noticing the darkly decorated bedroom.

“This is not my doing. Why would I want to be a scavenger, surrounded by traitors and scum?” He crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.

“As if I would enjoy being under your skin” She scowled “You’re the one who ‘knows the way to the force’. Where am I?" She looked around.

"In my ship. You're going back to base". He looked around himself "Which planet are you hiding?"

"Don't you dare send word of it to the First Order. If you harm a Resistance bug, I'll..." She started, but when she saw his defiantly smile, she retreated. "Anyways... What is this?”

“If I knew, this would have never happened” He crossed his arms on his chest and scowled back at her.

“Kylo…” She massaged her temples. He was giving her quite a headache. One she was oddly used to “Ben, you’re not helping.”

A shadow of pain passed in his eyes.

“Now I’m Ben…” He turned his back to her and she tried to ignore the dripping sarcasm in his voice “I’ve never heard of it, Rey. It’s probably not even in the ancient Jedi texts.”

“The Jedi texts…” She slaped her forehead “I have them. No, _you_ have them. Ben, where are you?” He turned to look at her in disbelief.

“In a piece of junk” He narrowed his eyes.

She scowled at him.

“If you want to get back to being the Kriffing Supreme Leader, we have to help each other. Ben, we need to work together… That’s the only way we can fix this mess” He looked to the strap he was fidgeting earlier, avoiding her eyes.

“What are you suggesting, Rey?” He said in a lower voice.

“I propose a peace treaty. At least until we are back to our places…” He scoffed. She braced herself and sighed “Ben, you’re not alone.”

He considered her words before looking at her again.

“Fine, I’ll take a look at them” She smiled “But only because I need to get back to my life”.

And suddenly a loud ring drew her attention.

“What’s this?” She said while approaching the source of the noise, a datapad. He stood by her.

“Hux is checking in” Kylo clenched his jaw. “While I play rebel, you have to play Supreme Leader”.

Her stomach dropped.

“My friends…”

He frowned.

“Don’t destroy my reputation and I’ll just ignore the scum you call friends”.

“How can I…” But the ring in the datapad became insistent. Kylo pointed her a button to answer. She pressed it. Hux’s face appeared; his usual disgusted look filled the screen.

“Supreme leader. My apologies for what happened earlier. There was an error in my communicator. I expect a meeting as soon as you return to the base.”

“He cut me off on purpose, this kriffing trait-”

“Hello Hugs. I expect a full report as soon as possible. Set up the meeting with my secretary” Kylo shot a killing look at her.

“Tell him you’ll be by base tomorrow to murder him” And she pressed the button to hung up. She looked at Kylo. He still looked mad.

“Is that the best you can do? He’s intentionally destroyed an entire town just because of a rumour he thought could destroy me. You must step your game up if you want to survive. And if you do anything that could screw me up, have no doubt I’ll destroy you as well” Rey sighed. This was a nightmare. He continued, fire burning in his eyes.

“You’ll have to handle him. Like I would”.

“What do you suggest?” She said, biting her lip.

“Amuse me, Rey. Show me the kind of monster you think I am” A corner of his mouth lifted in a dark smirk. Her stomach flunked again.

“Back home… You’re expected to follow a routine,” Her mantra passed her mind. _Eat, practice, fix, meeting, fix, eat, meditation, sleep_. “But as you were stroke by lightning, people will be worried about you. Chewie. Finn. Rose. Poe. Leia. You’ll have to be nice to them” She bit her lip again. His 'smile' disappeared. “I’ll just pretend to be asleep whenever they come. This way everyone lives… At least until we go back to what we are” He said coldly.

"And what are we, Ben?" She asked, her heart tight in her chest.

He looked into her eyes, but then turned his back before answering and disappearing.

"Enemies with a shared interest."

 

 

 

Kylo Ren woke up in the Falcon’s bunk bed. It had been many years after he had been there for the last time. He shifted and tried to stand, but he felt his body sore. When he finally managed to sit, he felt a pair of furry hands gently pull him down. He heard a very familiar growl. His mind was foggy, so he thought it was just another memory and turned back to sleep.

A few hours later, he woke up, startled. When he noticed where he was, he jumped to his feet and tried to escape. He entered in the refresher and locked the door. Chewbacca knocked on the door persistently, but when he roared for Rey that she had been struck by lightning, something snapped in Kylo’s head.

“Rey? What the…” And when he looked to his reflection in the mirror, the brown hair falling through his narrow shoulders and the hazel eyes with just a little bit of green staring back at him… Then he knew he was in deep trouble.

After screaming a few times for the wookie to 'leave her alone' and paying Rey a visit, he decided it was about time he scaped the wookie’s notice to look for the Jedi ancient texts. But before that… He took a look at him- no, herself first. He was so much smaller and thin. This was a strange feeling. He was covered in mud, so he figured since Rey was having her share of fun, he could have his too.

Slowly, he detangled the straps around her arm, letting them fall to the ground. She had a few scars around her arms. So that was why she used to wear those. He took off piece by piece of clothing, discovering new marks and scars, until he was wearing only underwear. He released her hair and stared at her figure in the mirror, noticing her red face and parted lips. He admired her features and caught himself thinking about how pretty she looked. He then removed the rest of the clothing, jumping in the 'fresher to take a shower. He pretended not to notice her intimacy and tried to be as respectful as he could still be, closing his eyes to avoid seeing her naked body even with a strange will to explore the limits of her skin. He took his time, letting the water soothe his protesting muscles and wash away the funny feeling in his guts.

When Ben stepped out of the shower, he realized he did not have another pair of clothing. He wrapped a towel around her body and left towards the crew dormitory. He actually did know the ship very well.

He opened Rey’s trunk and cursed the girl’s choice of light clothing. He was so used to wearing black that the other colors did not seem to fit him well. But that was not his body, to begin with. Why was he so obsessed with it anyway? Right now he had to focus on finding the Jedi texts and fix this mess as soon as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmmm, I smell forbidden desires.  
> What's next??  
> Tell me what you think!!

**Author's Note:**

> So... What comes next?  
> Feel free to leave your comment with your thoughts!  
> Comments and kudos inspire me to write!  
> See ya soon!


End file.
